The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bring money and cleavage
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
