Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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