Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do vagina's smell?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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