I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
