Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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