I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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