Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
