Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
