i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
