We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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