Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
