Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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