Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
