Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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