the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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