Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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