She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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