Me too!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
