Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
