I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
