Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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