I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think i have herpe
just one?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
