dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm both gender and math confused
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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