I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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