my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't turn off my feet"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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