I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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