Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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