easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
