I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think my fart just growled at me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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