YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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