Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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