he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
