Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
