Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
