well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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