Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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