I cockslap morals
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
