Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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