The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
