Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
