I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Operation Purity has been aborted
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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