I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i will never coherently bang her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
