Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
