im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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