I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
