Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
