I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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