Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
