i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How external is "for external use only"?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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