Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
please don't ironically join a cult
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